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Dennis Miller is the master of the far-flung simile. To steal his joke, they come to him like…like…well…just take it from there. He first discovered his special talent when he aced the analogy section of his college board exam. “It’s my one monkey trick,” he says.
Miller’s had 30 years in the public eye to practice his similes and to demonstrate his dexterity with topical comedy, quick wit and acerbic social commentary. From his days as the Weekend Update anchor on Saturday Night Live, to his five-time Emmy-winning hosting of HBO’s Dennis Miller Live, to his four books of rantings, to his current Westwood One Radio The Dennis Miller Show, he has kept the conversation copious, comical and controversial.
We caught up with him recently by phone from his Santa Barbara, CA, home studio, in advance of his stand-up performance at the Boca Raton Concours d’Elegance (Feb. 19-21). Although he had just spent three hours talking on his radio show, he was ready for more talk with City & Shore, just before breakfast.
C&S: You’re appearing at the Boca Raton Concours d’ Elegance...
DM: Yes, and I haven’t even broken out my French-to-English dictionary to see what that means. I know it’s for the Boys & Girls Club [of Broward County].
C&S: Yes…It’s a three-day event that features a car and motorcycle exhibition and a gala dinner, black-tie optional…
DM: I love mechanics in black-tie. That’s when you know you’re going to get shafted.
C&S: Jay Leno, Bill Cosby and Howie Mandel have preceded you…
DM: No matter where I go in America to work, the previous entertainment has been Jay Leno, Bill Cosby and Howie Mandel.
C&S: So how do you round out the quartet?
DM: Depends on how you look at it. Either I’m the closer, or I’m bringing up the rear. [The Concours performance] won’t be so much about politics…I just come out and try to get some laughs. This is a non-agenda evening.
C&S: Do you have a particular interest in cars?
DM: I periodically go to Jay Leno’s airport hangar in Santa Monica and see every car and bike known to man. Do I own them? No. He’s the one who’s worth $35 million a year.
C&S: Do you have any hobbies?
DM: I like to read, and I like really bad reality television. I like to look up from Atlas Shrugged and see something about people who weigh 600 pounds.
C&S: Is there anyone you would like to interview?
DM: Dr. Heimlich, the guy who invented the Heimlich maneuver. That intrigues me. Something with your name on it that gets food out of your throat…that actually helps families stay together. Think about it. Who’s been more important to this world than Dr. Heimlich? It’s certainly not, you know, Matt Damon. Guys like Heimlich who could not be drawn into an interview at gunpoint fascinate me.
C&S: What’s the best thing about having the radio show?
DM: It’s 30 feet from my bed, and I can do it in a pair of boxers and a Chicago Cub T-shirt. Though it’s tough for me to call in and say I got stuck in traffic coming to the office. There’s not a lot of bumper-to-bumper in the hallway.
C&S: Have you ever been at a loss for words?
DM: In show business? No. In life? Millions of times. Show busines s is not as threatening to me as real life.s is not as threatening to me as real life.
C&S: So you just keep talking…
DM: It’s really easy, I think. I’ve had hard jobs in life. Night janitor, of all of them, was hard. Speaking in public after the first two or three times? Easy.
C&S: Your show runs three hours in the morning. Then what?
DM: I’m about to have two scrambled eggs with Mexican cheese on top, four pieces of bacon, two pieces of white toast and Ocean Spray cranberry juice. Boy, am I salivating.
C&S: What’s your greatest accomplishment?
DM: Finding the next thing. I’ve been fired from a lot of jobs. I’ve left some jobs, and other jobs have just lived their natural life. It boggles my mind that I could hold some contingent of the public’s interest for going on three decades…I thank my lucky stars on a daily basis.
C&S: You have described yourself as a libertarian on everything but the war on terror…
DM: I’m an objectivist. I am a big Ayn Rand fan.
C&S: Do you see the pendulum of political thought swinging back to the right?
DM: I see it swinging back the other way, where people are going to say – hey, hey, hey – we’ve got to protect ourselves and spend a little less money. Help the helpless and forget the clueless.
C&S: Why, in your view, doesn’t a liberal approach to government work?
DM: It’s based too much on feeling, and feelings will get you in trouble in a lot of ways…Feelings are beautiful things. I would follow them like breadcrumbs at the beginning of a relationship. But if you follow feelings for a person and then a few years later you find out the guy’s smacking you around, you’ve got to split the relationship. Right?
C&S: Uh…right.
DM: Well, it’s sort of like that. Feelings are nice at the beginning, but I think some people take advantage of feelings. At some point…you have to put a line down the center of a legal pad, and the left column, money in, has to kind of equal the right column, money out. That’s just like home economics. And kill bad guys before they kill you. This whole touchy-feely thing about it’s America’s fault…I can’t do it. I know America’s got problems, but it’s not one-one-thousandth as crazy as some of these countries…And I gotta rock, ’cause I do have my breakfast…
—Elizabeth Rahe
Vintage and exotic cars and planes, fine dining and Dennis Miller highlight the fourth Boca Raton Concours d’Elegance, a three-day celebration that benefits the Boys & Girls Club of Broward County. For more information or to purchase tickets, call 954-537-1010 or visit bocaratonconcours.com.
Feb. 19 - The duPont Registry Live! Hangar Party at the Boca Raton Airport, 6-8 p.m., $50. Restaurant tastings, fine wines, exotic and classic planes and cars plus live entertainment.
Feb. 20 - Gala dinner featuring Dennis Miller at the Boca Raton Resort & Club. Reception: 5:30-7 p.m. Dinner, auction and show: 7-10 p.m. $500 and up. Guests who purchase a $10,000 table have an opportunity to meet Miller. Mike Jackson, chairman and CEO of AutoNation, will receive the Lifetime Achievement Award. Guests may bid on just-released exotic cars.
Feb. 21 - The Boca Raton Concours d’Elegance at the Boca Raton Resort & Club, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., $50. Vintage automobile and motorcycle exhibition with awards at 3 p.m.
—Elizabeth Rahe
It was hard to miss the arrival of Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas last November in Fort Lauderdale. The world’s largest cruise ship appeared off Port Everglades like a 16-deck mountain, surrounded by an aerial and ocean-going circus. People lined the 17th Street Causeway at dawn for an inaugural glimpse of the 5,400-passenger ship, turning into its new $75 million terminal berth under fountains of welcoming fire-boat spray.
By contrast, the arrival of the Yachts of Seabourn’s Odyssey the same week almost seemed like a secret mission. A very elegant, understated, comfortable mission.
The first thing we noticed about the 650-foot Odyssey – practically tiny beside the Oasis – is that everything works. This is a new ship, but any shake-down flaws seem to have been shaken out long before its maiden arrival in Fort Lauderdale.
Elapsed time, for example, between elevators after the life-boat drill: 48 seconds. Elapsed time to get a seat at one of the blackjack tables: Nine minutes. Elapsed time to get a chilled flute of Champagne Nicolas Feuillatte at the patio bar on the 8th deck: Way too fast to measure.
Seabourn clearly is looking for passengers who want something closer in feel to a private yacht in their oceangoing experience. Indeed, with 333 crew to 450 guests (double occupancy), everything seems to happen about as quickly - or as slowly - as you’d like. At dinner (jackets required), a member of the crew extends an elbow at the door and walks you arm in arm to the table – as if marching down the gently rolling aisle of an elegant wedding. Nice.
Speaking of nice, you’ll have to be in Nice, France on Dec. 6 this year to catch the Odyssey’s 13-day transatlantic return to Fort Lauderdale (fares from $3,599). The ship left Port Everglades Jan. 5 on a 108-day world cruise, arriving in Athens on April 24 (fares from $53,745). Odyssey will then spend the rest of the spring and summer wandering the Mediterranean, mostly, until its return.
Plenty of time to ponder from the balcony of a suite, perhaps over another flute of Nicolas Feuillatte, whether bigger necessarily is better in the cruise industry.
—Mark Gauert
AiZiA, the pan-Asian restaurant at Hollywood’s Westin Diplomat Golf Resort & Spa, now has an Intracoastal view, a new fire-and-ice menu and an evening into late-night vibe. Recently relocated across A1A to Diplomat Landing, the restaurant offers spaces for intimate dining as well as high-energy celebrations. A water/fire/earth theme suffuses interiors by TSAO DesignGroup of Miami, including the bento box-inspired bar, a cloud of floating lanterns and the golden sushi chef theater. Taking cues from the elemental theme, Chef Mauricio Gutierrez presents a menu of inventive combinations and dramatic flourishes – Kona coffee-rubbed beef satay sizzling on a hot granite stone, toro tartare resting on a Himalayan salt block, wild salmon searing on a flaming plank and sashimi chilling out in a skiff of ice. Out on the mood-lit deck, the circular bar offers libations between the flowing waters of the Diplomat Landing fountain and the Intracoastal Waterway. And AiZiA’s stylized koi swims in the signature martini – the Koi-tini, of course.
AiZiA, Westin Diplomat Golf Resort & Spa, 3555 S. Ocean Drive, Hollywood, 954-602-8DIP, www.diplomatresort.com.
—Elizabeth Rahe
Harbor Beach Marriott Resort & Spa takes full advantage of the Atlantic seascape with its latest additions: the scenic Sea Level Restaurant and Ocean Bar and the 10,000-square foot Ocean Ballroom. Sea Level, expected to open by February, presents sweeping views of the beach and tropical pool, along with indoor/outdoor dining from 9 a.m.-11 p.m. and cocktails until 2 a.m. Under Executive Chef Thomas O’Keefe, the eatery serves up approachable, regional cuisine, including daily specials and fun signature offerings, such as the Mussel Bucket with Garlic-Lemon Broth and bread for dipping, served in a stainless steel pail, plus light and fresh Fish Tacos, a hearty Cuban sandwich and a frosty Piña Colada Sundae. The Ocean Ballroom lives up to its name with an 18-foot-tall window wall and sea-inspired décor that provides a beach-side backdrop for galas, wedding receptions and other gatherings. The adjacent Oceanview Terrace extends the gathering space, offering palm-shaded seating areas and fire pits. Grand-opening festivities are set for April, when the resort will celebrate its 25th anniversary.
Harbor Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, 3030 Holiday Drive, Fort Lauderdale, 954-525-4000; Sea Level, 954-765-3041, www.marriottharborbeach.com.
—Elizabeth Rahe